100

Today marks 100 days in the hospital for 2019. (actually 101 because an ER only visit was not recorded.) Honestly, it feels disheartening to have reached a negative milestone. I know the exact numbers don’t have specific meaning but the accumulation of 100 days when we still have 2.5 months left in the year just feels wrong. There was a patch of this year (Spring) when I felt like I was making process outside of the hospital but lately I’ve had issues with fevers, concerning for a possible occult infection. We haven’t found the infection – or figured out if it is even real or serious.

While the negative milestones are disheartening, the outpouring of support has been incredibly encouraging. A few weeks ago, I reached out for encouragement when a hospitalization came ~36hr after the last one, asking for virtual hugs. I received more virtual hugs and love than I could have predicted. It really lifted my spirits in such a low time. That hospitalization was followed by just 6 hours of freedom before going back to the ER for readmission – a pretty intense kick in the gut, figuratively & literally. You all felt the frustration and poured even more love into me – thanks!

So, this afternoon, I’m facing the frustrating unknown of a possible infection, the disheartening reaching of a milestone but also the encouraging knowledge of a big support system of friends and family and even the patient families of my earlier days of playing doctor. I really appreciate all the love, however you all decide to show it. Please know, even if I don’t respond to everything, I feel the support that counters the disheartening stuff along the way.

Thank you!

10 thoughts on “100

  1. KellyMac…you know I’m on your team and will always admire, respect YOU! Also, your Dad is real cute. Love, Celia 🙂

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  2. love you Kelly.. You are so important. I am sending hugs to you. This has been a hard year for you. I miss you and pray for you.

    Like

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