I’ve struggled to write this post, to answer this question, to be vulnerable to you – my friends who ask this all the time. Humbly I share my needs with you. Please do not feel obliged. I put this out here for the people looking for ways to help – mentally, emotionally, financially.
If you’re not in a place to help – go away & come back another (maybe rainy) day 🙂 I will trust that if you read on, you can / want to help – either emotionally, spiritually of tangibly – with time / money. Links to outside sites are italicized and bolded below.
- Let me know you are thinking of me, praying for me – text, call, social media – Facebook, Instagram, Marco Polo, FaceTime, Skype. Just silly lightweight pictures, memes, or articles for a good giggle are great.
- I LOVE hugs
- If local: visit me in the hospital; visit at home for tea, coffee (I make an incredible creamy coconut latte), wine, whiskey; come for walks or sitting on the couch (energy level is unpredictable)
- Offer to be in my circle of people I can call in rough times – pain, sick at home, need ride to ER (give me parameters), (will be looking to make a GroupMe text chain in the future)
- Read some articles on how to support people with chronic illnesses (these do not apply strictly to me but are good places to get understanding on what to say / do / process) – list is below
- Please support my parents; I know this is hard on them as well.
- I’ve learned a lot more about the overlapping concentric circles which surround me & those who love me. So, be sure to take care your yourself. My parents are the closest to this situation & I know it is hard on them. Please support them as/if you are able
Education: learn about my illnesses & symptoms if curious
- EDS Society: Education & Advocacy, description of types & how they affect patients
- Dysautonomia International: Education & Advocacy
- The Mighty: general chronic illness site, searchable with articles across multiple topics, multiple diseases (toggle to stories at the top)
- Feeding Tube Awareness: geared towards kids but applicable
- Oley Foundation: Education & Advocacy for tube & IV feedin
Financial / Gifts
- GoFundMe.com if you are in a place to give financially
- Amazon Wish List: mostly books, some pain relief items, (I own a kindle, email is McConnell.Kelly@gmail.com)
- iTunes / Audible Giftcards
- Hospital gifts like coffee, tea (ask first, can’t always have), lip ointment, fuzzy socks
- Travel / food / coffee gift cards or points for parents’ travel
- Laundry / changing sheets
- House cleaning
- Trash removal (now goes in a bin that gets put outside in the evening & picked up)
- I get large boxes full of TPN that need to be unloaded into the fridge & cabinets, then be driven to recycling in the apt complex
- Helpful Things to Say: the Mighty
- When My Fellow Christians Tell Me, ‘God Wants to Heal You’: this touches on some of my thoughts on Hope (I don’t practice hope, I only hope in Christ at His return) and why it puts uncomfortable pressure on me
- 8 Extraordinary Things You Need to Know About People With Chronic Illness
- Kate Bowler / Everything Happens for a Reason & Other Lies I’ve Loved: beautiful writing on what happens when our lives fall apart in a book as well as multiple articles, focused a lot on giving people tools / knowledge to help our friends & family going through really tough times. Read the articles, listen to the podcasts. It’s all rich & beautiful!
- Harmful comments (please know this is corrective, not punitive):